Sunday, October 15, 2006

legalize the duel.

I've got a hankering for legalizing the Duel. Now I have no cabood to skedaddle to the hoosegow, but I do think it's a humdinger of an idea. If there is a come-uppance of dueling, people would go out of their way to be polite and respectful. Rude people would get into duels and be killed, people with gumption would videotape it and make a T.V. show, and we would once again have respect for others in society. It is tomfoolery to believe that our society is more highfalutin or hunkey-dory than it was a few hundred years ago. If the criminality of our society gets you hogflustered, and you want to stop it, challenge the next rabblerouser to a duel or bout of fisticuffs. If he is discombobulated, afraid you will go hog-wild on him, make the duel set for the next morning. Now he does get to pick the weapon, as he was the one being challenged, but with any luck you will still beat him, and he will either be dirt-napping or go to the hospital. If dueling was legalized, this world would be a much nicer place, and we could enjoy our vittles in peace. And one thing's for sure: without this mollycoddle of hodge-podge gullywashers boondoggling us, criminality wouldn't lollygag to the calaboose.